Going out

I went to a Japanese restaurant but it wasn’t a Japanese restaurant 

It was a Puerto Rican restaurant with a Japanese coat of face paint 

A mask meant to give you a sense of authenticity but upon closer inspection

Is rendered nothing more than a superficial imitation

And that's what i pay for

I pay for the imitation so I can feel closer to the culture I want to know

But that's all I’m getting

An imitation 

I always thought the world would be so much bigger than it ended up being

There is an ocean

An Oceans Of oceans on top of an ocean of oceans

Water as far as a place farther than the universe

Blue on blue

High on deep

And the line between them 

stretches forever

Time stands still when nothing changes

float sink or swim as much you like

For in this ocean

Nothing ever changes

Try as you might you'll never see that land

All you have is what's right in front of you. The cold ocean will not condense and make itself smaller no matter how hard you want it to.

Its vastness is incalculable to you

It goes beyond understanding

Beyond reason

Beyond space

Beyond time

There is nothing out there for you

And even if there was

It's beyond you or any of your descendants to reach it

Land as intangible as the stars above

All you have is endless water 

endless sky

And the stars that follow you wherever you go

They keep you company

Take solace in what you have

And don't go chasing waterfalls

Reussou vs machiavelie. In other words Optimism vs pessimism. The truth is its impossible to tell a good person from a bad person without taking their actions into account. Weather someone is good or bad is entirely reliant on their surrounding and their upbringing. What russeou said was that people were intrinsically good. But society over time corrupts the pure human soul. But its a really lazy scapegoat because its basically saying "anything bad about this boy is someone else's fault" if you left a child in the woods that child would either die or become a savage. Either way, according to reussou, its the enviroment that formed him into a savage. Or if a child was raised to be a canibal. Its very audacious to say whats good or bad about a society's rules. If we were good by nature we would resist the urge to do bad onto others. Which is why I align more with Hobbs way of thinking. Humans, given freedom, need limits put onto them by a third party because if not it would be utter caos. And we see that contantly. Any chance it gets, a black out, a hurricane, anarchy always rears its awful head around the corner to wreck shit.

Meta-life

We see reality only through a lens of perception.

What we see is not reality itself but a form a reality that we can understand.

When you pick up a rock.

A rock is not hard.

A rock is a rock.

Hardness is only an idea of relative density we gave rocks to compare them with softer things like dirt or feathers.

Therefore life is what we perceive it to be.

And in the same way what we believe can also be put through this lens of truth.

So in order to really understand life we must perceive from different points of view.

Im afraid

Relationship advice from a 16th century playwright.

There is a reason Shakespeares "Romeo and Juliette" is considered a tragedy. Two people from two different worlds meet, fall in love, to then die for trying to be together. Leaving everyone who knew them devastated. Morning them for their deaths caused not only by their naïvete, but also for their sheer desire to be together in life and in death. All this after just a couple days of knowing eachother. 😒

This literary classic is objectively one of his most famous works. Ask anyone on the street if they've ever heard of a dude named Romeo and his crush Juliette and i guarantee they'll be able to give you a solid answer. Because Romeo & Juliette are a cultural icon! They are what most people reference to when they talk about "true love" and the sort.

And yeah all that is fine and dandy but what was shakespear originally trying to say?? I mean it classified as a tragedy so why do people refrence in such a positive way regarding "true love"?

The basic premise is this: Two crazy teenagers born from rivaling families fall in love, get caught, get into trouble, and after a great big misunderstanding commit double suicide after they individually thought they would have to live without the other.

Now then, when i was reading this in high school, im gonna be honest, i didn't really give it much thought. Mainly because, other than the huge plot points, i didn't really pay much attention. But when i actually sat down and thought about it i found the popular interpretation and my own interpretation.

First lets talk about the popular interpretation. From this perspective romeo and Juliette are seen as the free thinkers, the anarchist that are going against societal norms and doing what feels right and makes them happy. But sadly society catches up and metaphorically and literally creates a ridge between them forcing them to take sides after the murder of Juliettes first cousin Tybalt at the hands of Romeo. From this point of view whatever happens to these characters is not seen as their fault but societies fault for forcing them to take sides and pushing them to do  what they did. In simple words: if the Montagues and the caplets didn't hate eachother for seamingly no reason then romeo and Juliette could have been able to be together just fine. Which i find it to be a nice messeges. If the families didnt get so caught up in their rivalry they would have been able to see how their actions affected their seemingly uninvolved, but in reality very involved, children.

Its like breaking that societal chain of tradition set by ancestors that restrains people from being free thinkers. This idea is best illustrated in Shirly Jackson's "the lottery" whose basic messeges is if you pass down a tradition long enough it loses its meaning and affects future generations in a very bad way.

And then there's the other interpretation. The one that sees Romeo and Juliette as two naïve teenagers that were trying too hard to make that "true love" real. This is the pessimistic perspective so grab a tissue box ladies and gentlemen. From this point of view we see Romeo and Juliette as two naïve children who are really enthusiastic about each other because its their first real relationship. Their mostly driven by passion and their idea of "true love". But they face difficulties when they realize that they are from two completely different worlds and that they can never be together without there being a major change. And the sad part is that whatever happens is going to be messy. But their idea of "true love conquers all" is present in them up until the very end. Where they take their idea to the grave.

So basically, Romeo and Juliette can be an allegory for what happens when people from two different worlds fall in love. Its a mess, its painful, and it aint pretty. And in heing sight they probably should have never met in the first place.

Ever since,

Ever since, nothing has been the same.
Ever since, I've always felt numb.
Ever since, i havent been able to catch my breath.
Ever since, i haven't been trusting.
Ever since, ive been smoking a lot.
Ever since, i go out with my friends almost every night.
Ever since, i drink like there's no tomorrow because,
Ever since you left me, i feel there is none.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ever since, i talk to everyone.
Ever since, im the center of attention.
Ever since, I've been living my life fearlessly.
Ever since, i work twice as hard on my school work.
Ever since, I've made it my goal to do something with my life.
Ever since, my heart has been screaming at me to climb the tallest mountain.
Ever since, i read about practically everything.
Ever since, i try harder.
Ever since, i give everything my all.
Ever since, i strive for something better.
Ever since, i try to mend my wounds and soldier on.
Ever since, i hesitate to open up.
Ever since, i trust a select few.
Ever since, i march like there is a tomorrow because,
For a while, it felt like there wasn't.

The Psychology of Until Dawn

The psychology of until dawn is fascinating story to say the least. If you manage to find all the easter eggs it is revealed to you that the reason Josh is acting so crazy is because he has skitzophrenia a rare psychological disorder that affects one percent of the world wide population and a little over one percent of americans.

Sadly, Josh was misdiagnosed with depression after the loss of his two sisters Hanna and Beth after a not so harmless prank gone wrong. Leading him on a destructive downward spiral that ends with him committing not so harmless pranks on his sopposed friends that also go totally wrong and end with him either starving to death in his parents ski lodge or being killed by an evil Indian spirit.

This game explores what happens when a person with this kind of disorder receives little to no help at all and is left to his own reckless abandon. And the butterfly effect Josh's misfortune onto his life and the lives of those around him.

But thats not all this game explores. The creators of Until Dawn have Inadvertently explored how it is to have dissociative identity disorder (DID) or split personality disorder. By having you play as eight different character's each having their own unique personality, desires and moral codes, it has you experience what its like to have conflicting personas floating around in your head.

The game focuses heavily on the butterfly effect. On how one harmful or harmless act can have unforseen, unexpected, consequences. With every story there is conflict but with this story it gets a little bit more interesting. Considering the game is about mental illness and the effects of it all, could there be a deeper meaning in the story of until dawn?

First of all there's the player choice mechanic. You, as the player, progress through the story by making choices that influence the story little by little until the game ends and you receive you respective ending based on the choices you made. This puts you in the front seat of the narrative and in control of where the story goes next. This puts you and your mind in control of 8 different characters who all have diferente personalities. Theirs Sam the considerate adventurous type and then their Chris the methodical protective type and so on... the thing is you have complete control of what they do. You can make them do things that would be against their charecter. Like Sam the considerate type whom, aperently, also likes snoop through peoples stuff when their not looking.

And thats where i make my point. This game could be sean as depicting personal struggle as you grow up. With each charecter being a basic set of assorted personality traits, the conflicts that arise between charecter could literally be a conflict between different characters you could be in real life. You could act like the jock Mike, or the nerd Chris, or the hipster Sam or the man stealer Jessica or the nice guy matt. Its all up to you and what you decide.

Because while this game could be just a horror story with a interesting plot with ties to mental illness, it could also be an allegory for growing up and building your character and balancing out your values and what it would take for you to give them up.

Which admittedly doesn't really tie in with the whole split personality disorder. Unless all the characters in the game are diferentes personalities arguing with each other and all inhabit the same brain but that would just be the equivalent of a "its all the product of a comatose dream" explanation right?...